December, 2008
No I’m not talking about vampire themed yuletide fun.
I’m talking about the fact they exist and are made of chocolate.
It’s a small thing I know — but in my view of things, the world would be that little bit better without them and here’s why;
On one level it’s a little choccy treat to savor every day. Whoop de doo. That’s fun, pleasure, it’s a nice thing.
But underlying it is clever marketing designed to entrap young minds.
Isn’t it?
Marketing has turned a religious tradition — a countdown to the nativity, marked by a little reading or gift on each day, into a money making business promo scheme.
You won’t see Jesus on any of these modern day advent calendars. He’s obviously not selling so he’s been ousted by Santa and his merry reindeers.
One of Habit Guide’s most important ideas is that habits cause outcomes– ALL outcomes–or so close to “all” you’d forgive me the extra (acts of God :-).
My wife came home from shopping just the other day. “Hey, Mike I saw a book called “Habit” but it wasn’t about health and happiness like yours, it was about how to train your customers to get them to do what you want.”
Hmmm what a lovely premise–NOT!! But that’s the world we live in at the moment. A world where everyone wants your money and the end often justifies any means.
Well, the humble advent calendar is an insidious example of habit marketing.
What better way to keep people focused on chocolate and get them to do it everyday than a bloody advent calendar??!!
You might think I’m a party-pooper but consider this;
The things that give us the most instant pleasure are “bad” for our health. But wait — you can have permanent pleasure, not just fleeting moments at the bottom of a tub of ice-cream, a cookie jar or a pint glass.
The pleasure we get from chocolate, ice-cream, alcohol or any other “bad” thing is not actually worth the cost. It’s just a bad bad deal. You pay so dearly for that moment of pleasure. Your joy for life is extinguished by a tiny amount each time but you don’t notice it — because early on, your vitality is still high.
And as time goes by, we treat ourselves to more and more pleasure in the form of food, drugs or other quick highs.
And then one day in the unforeseeable future, you can’t get through the day without your pleasure fix, you feel permanently bad without it. But the next fix, which makes you feel better for a little while, just sends you into a deeper and darker place still. In that dark place, where I spent 13 years, we don’t see all the connections, how the innocent turned insidious.
So I’m not a party-pooper at all. I just disagree with our culture on how to get the most and best party feelings.
All life should feel like a party, not a constant drudge highlighted by a few brief moments of pleasure.
What seems like a innocent treat is far from innocent.
The idea of a “treat” suggests that the rest of life is a pale reflection of the joy at treat-time. This is a dangerous idea that finds its way into your unconscious ideas and beliefs about life.
“Innocent” pleasures can lead to self-destruction down-the-line in more and more desperate attempts to reconnect to your natural joy-for-life.
So if you want to treat your kids (and yourself for that matter) — don’t “treat” them to only moments of pleasure — especially habitually. Teach them permanent joy that is naturally theirs when they live right. Kids want and need true love and attention and positive role models, not to be bought-off with pseudo-love.
Hands up. This year, my son has an advent calendar!
Before you throw something at me and call me a hypocrite, believe that I hate him having it.
Someone in my family got it for him so I made a difficult judgment call.
Life is just not black and white is it and we all have choices to make. On this occasion, I weighed it all up, all the different forces and factors going on in my family at the moment and choose to ignore it FOR NOW.
Bringing up a child in this world is a tricky business. You want them to have progressive ideas and show them your truth, but the flip-side is that they need to blend seamlessly into school life, not feel different to everyone else and so on. They must be shown how to blend in and yet think for themselves.
So I do my best.
Sam knows I hate the idea of advent calendars and I try to put out the vibe to everyone that I hate them. But they have choices to make too, and so do the folks giving them as gifts. I’ve found rigidity and force to be poor at bringing about positive change.
And like I said at the beginning, it’s still a small thing compared to the bigger fish in the sea of madness.
So I throw my 2 pennies worth out there into the mix and go the softly route. I do what I can in the best way I know how.
And when I see my precious boy doing things that hurt him, I suck it up for the greater good (as I see it in that moment).
I suck up a lot of stuff I don’t like for the greater good.
But I reckon writing this post will do more in the long-run than making my son an example and forcing my views on both him and my immediate family. But I won’t buy into advent calendars myself or give them as gifts.
Treats, manipulative marketing, difficult choices and cultural madness…
What say you to that?
I hurt for 13 years. It was hell... torture... feeling very bad for a very long time. And that had a devastating effect on every aspect of my life.
With the little energy and focus I had, I hunted for answers. In fact I spent twenty YEARS trawling for answers. You can just imagine the trying, and stumbling, the desperation and frustration...
But now I've seen BOTH extremes of life... from wanting to die every day to the joy of health and happiness. The truth is that all my suffering drives me with a passion to help you not to suffer. Why I can't say, because it's just there, in me.
So don't make the same mistakes I did. Life is too short... I want you to feel good without falling into the pitfalls. I have this knowledge now and I would love you to have it.
It's all laid out for you in a simple step-by-step guide...
Mike KinnairdHabit Guide: How to be Happy & Healthy
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