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Dana
Hi James,
Thanks so much for the response! I think what’s most significant about this whole experience is the fact that I really can appreciate the sense of clarity and peace I have when I don’t have the irrational thoughts of passing out and become overwhelmed.. when all is said and done and I’ve moved on forward from this situation I will really cherish the peace of mind I have.
One problem I have been having lately is the fact that I find its almost habitual to think about the “What if I pass out” thought.
It’s almost as if I have moved on but my mind didn’t get the memo. For instance, certain places I’ve been when I’ve thought about it in the past will trigger those thoughts in the present.
Honestly some times I feel like my mind is trying to sabotage myself from healing from this.. like out of nowhere the thought will just suddenly pop in for no reason and I say to myself.. why would I even think of that in the situation??? Its so random!
I try to remove the irrational thought but it seems to just stick. I would love tools for myself to come back to focusing on the “Now”. Also tools for myself to break the initial habit of even thinking the thought in general..
I think that’s the most important because without the initial thought there IS nothing. What would you suggest I try to help break the habit and focusing on the “now”?
Thanks again so much!
James Riddett
Hi Dana,
I laughed when I read your comment because of the truth contained in it. There is a big distinction between “me” and “my mind”.
“Its almost as if I have moved on but my mind didn’t get the memo.” This is a nice way to put it :-)
Strange as it sounds my advice to you is to stop thinking about this problem. All you need to do is distract yourself when you get the unwanted thought. In fact, anything else is probably counter-productive.
You’re thinking about how nice it will be when you’ve solved this problem, ie. when you stop having this unwanted thought.
But of course – this is giving attention, and importance to the problem, the unwanted thought. This is training your brain in the wrong direction, so to speak. You’re telling your brain “this is important” and therefore reinforcing it.
Strangely, the way to approach this is to sort of not care if you have the thought or not… otherwise you’re emotionally charging and labelling it as “important” to your brain. Again, thinking of it as a problem to be solved is really counter-productive.
All you really need is this: when you have the thought, rivet your attention onto something else. It doesn’t matter what – it could be anything – it just needs to fill your attention. :-)
My own favorite at school was to “reset” my brain, as I called it, so I could start from a blank sheet of paper, as it were (ie, no thoughts) and then fill the space with a description of the person I wanted to be. “I’m perfectly fine, I’m a friendly, confident person. I don’t worry about what other people think…” etc.
Of course, these affirmations can have a positive impact in themselves but the most important thing was to interrupt my unwanted thought by thinking about something else.
It’s understandable, but try not to think about solving this problem :-) Just go about your life, don’t watch for the thought, don’t anticipate it. Just calmly distract when it pops up.
If you find it keeps popping back up, don’t stress it. Just keep distracting for as long as you can and it will get easier and easier. If you can avoid the triggers of the unwanted thought, great. But the key – oddly – is to stop trying to solve the problem.
Just distract when needed.
It really all boils down to attention. While your attention is on something other than your unwanted thought, there is no problem. When your unwanted thought pops up, it has your attention. So then you calmy rivet your attention onto something else.
Your brain then gets retrained to the point where the unwanted thought no longer pops up because your brain has realised that it’s not important, that it’s of no use to you.
Does that make sense, do you see the logic of that?
Of course habitual thinking and doing is extremely useful (vital in fact) in everyday life. Useful habit thoughts and actions get our attention, they get “played out”, so they get even further entrenched our routines.
Equally, when attention is deliberately removed from a habitual thought or action, you’re retraining your brain, you’re effectively saying “this is not useful to me, decrease its importance” until eventually it stops occuring altogether…
Hope this helps :-) I highly recommend entering your details above to get Mike’s weekly email guide. He’ll tell you about “attention flow” and it will really clarify this for you.
Best wishes,
James
Dana
Hi James,
Thanks again for the responses!
I was kind of trying to find things to say about how I’ve been feeling about my “situation” and I just cant seem to come up with anything lol!
I’m a very realistic person and after reading what you said and putting it into action I just.. dont think about it any more..!
I know it’s just a habitual thought and nothing more.. not a real disease or a mental illness.. just a thought… which isn’t real at all. I’ve just been calmly distracting.. like you suggested which really keeps me be well.. lol calm and in control and I just live my life and don’t pay any attention to it.
And I understand where you say it gets easier and easier to not think about it.. it’s because the habit of the thought slowly fades away as you start to forget about it… and then finally dissapears for good.
And if it ever pops up again as a memory it’s even easier to forget because its not even a mental pattern at that point. now im not saying im at 100% yet.. but everything is a process and takes time.. But whenever I’ve set a goal in my life for myself I’ve done it and a huge one is to live my life to the fullest and im definately on the right track!
Honestly from the bottom of my heart I really appreciate the fact that you have responded to me because you really have no obligation to at all.. you don’t know me…you dont owe me anything.. and yet you still do right away and you don’t hide anything.
Thank you!
James Riddett
You’re welcome Dana :-) I’m delighted things are good with you. Keep on the same track now – don’t be tempted to change what’s working for you.
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Hi James,
Thanks so much for the response! I think what’s most significant about this whole experience is the fact that I really can appreciate the sense of clarity and peace I have when I don’t have the irrational thoughts of passing out and become overwhelmed.. when all is said and done and I’ve moved on forward from this situation I will really cherish the peace of mind I have.
One problem I have been having lately is the fact that I find its almost habitual to think about the “What if I pass out” thought.
It’s almost as if I have moved on but my mind didn’t get the memo. For instance, certain places I’ve been when I’ve thought about it in the past will trigger those thoughts in the present.
Honestly some times I feel like my mind is trying to sabotage myself from healing from this.. like out of nowhere the thought will just suddenly pop in for no reason and I say to myself.. why would I even think of that in the situation??? Its so random!
I try to remove the irrational thought but it seems to just stick. I would love tools for myself to come back to focusing on the “Now”. Also tools for myself to break the initial habit of even thinking the thought in general..
I think that’s the most important because without the initial thought there IS nothing. What would you suggest I try to help break the habit and focusing on the “now”?
Thanks again so much!
Hi Dana,
I laughed when I read your comment because of the truth contained in it. There is a big distinction between “me” and “my mind”.
“Its almost as if I have moved on but my mind didn’t get the memo.” This is a nice way to put it :-)
Strange as it sounds my advice to you is to stop thinking about this problem. All you need to do is distract yourself when you get the unwanted thought. In fact, anything else is probably counter-productive.
You’re thinking about how nice it will be when you’ve solved this problem, ie. when you stop having this unwanted thought.
But of course – this is giving attention, and importance to the problem, the unwanted thought. This is training your brain in the wrong direction, so to speak. You’re telling your brain “this is important” and therefore reinforcing it.
Strangely, the way to approach this is to sort of not care if you have the thought or not… otherwise you’re emotionally charging and labelling it as “important” to your brain. Again, thinking of it as a problem to be solved is really counter-productive.
All you really need is this: when you have the thought, rivet your attention onto something else. It doesn’t matter what – it could be anything – it just needs to fill your attention. :-)
My own favorite at school was to “reset” my brain, as I called it, so I could start from a blank sheet of paper, as it were (ie, no thoughts) and then fill the space with a description of the person I wanted to be. “I’m perfectly fine, I’m a friendly, confident person. I don’t worry about what other people think…” etc.
Of course, these affirmations can have a positive impact in themselves but the most important thing was to interrupt my unwanted thought by thinking about something else.
It’s understandable, but try not to think about solving this problem :-) Just go about your life, don’t watch for the thought, don’t anticipate it. Just calmly distract when it pops up.
If you find it keeps popping back up, don’t stress it. Just keep distracting for as long as you can and it will get easier and easier. If you can avoid the triggers of the unwanted thought, great. But the key – oddly – is to stop trying to solve the problem.
Just distract when needed.
It really all boils down to attention. While your attention is on something other than your unwanted thought, there is no problem. When your unwanted thought pops up, it has your attention. So then you calmy rivet your attention onto something else.
Your brain then gets retrained to the point where the unwanted thought no longer pops up because your brain has realised that it’s not important, that it’s of no use to you.
Does that make sense, do you see the logic of that?
Of course habitual thinking and doing is extremely useful (vital in fact) in everyday life. Useful habit thoughts and actions get our attention, they get “played out”, so they get even further entrenched our routines.
Equally, when attention is deliberately removed from a habitual thought or action, you’re retraining your brain, you’re effectively saying “this is not useful to me, decrease its importance” until eventually it stops occuring altogether…
Hope this helps :-) I highly recommend entering your details above to get Mike’s weekly email guide. He’ll tell you about “attention flow” and it will really clarify this for you.
Best wishes,
James
Hi James,
Thanks again for the responses!
I was kind of trying to find things to say about how I’ve been feeling about my “situation” and I just cant seem to come up with anything lol!
I’m a very realistic person and after reading what you said and putting it into action I just.. dont think about it any more..!
I know it’s just a habitual thought and nothing more.. not a real disease or a mental illness.. just a thought… which isn’t real at all. I’ve just been calmly distracting.. like you suggested which really keeps me be well.. lol calm and in control and I just live my life and don’t pay any attention to it.
And I understand where you say it gets easier and easier to not think about it.. it’s because the habit of the thought slowly fades away as you start to forget about it… and then finally dissapears for good.
And if it ever pops up again as a memory it’s even easier to forget because its not even a mental pattern at that point. now im not saying im at 100% yet.. but everything is a process and takes time.. But whenever I’ve set a goal in my life for myself I’ve done it and a huge one is to live my life to the fullest and im definately on the right track!
Honestly from the bottom of my heart I really appreciate the fact that you have responded to me because you really have no obligation to at all.. you don’t know me…you dont owe me anything.. and yet you still do right away and you don’t hide anything.
Thank you!
You’re welcome Dana :-) I’m delighted things are good with you. Keep on the same track now – don’t be tempted to change what’s working for you.
Best wishes,
James