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I am useless
Barry asks…
“I have self-esteem issues that stem right back to childhood and the relationship I had with my father. He would tell me I am useless quite regularly and I guess that has stayed with me through life. And with my wife leaving, I think it blew the lid off issues that were hidden behind a cloud of depression. All sorts of distressing feelings and thoughts are bombarding my mind. Feeling I must be different, not good enough to live etc. I am trying to use your system in Habit Guide to win the battle over these thoughts.”
Is it true that you’re useless? It’s good to ponder that for as long as it takes to see it’s a lie. Most times these are projections from the parent of their own failings, lashing out when stressed or frustrated at their kids. And then of course it becomes habit, as everything does when repeated… Read more
I feel out of control
Mark asks…
“I have not been in touch for a while. I’m a little less depressed but still not myself.
I’m still trying to cope with a fractured marriage. Yes — I confessed to affairs. My wife is treating me with contempt at the moment. I have a part time job that I pay the bills with and looking for full time employment.
I generally obsess a lot, even at work, and my concentration is poor. I also battle with insane/ intrusive thoughts: What if I’m gay? What if I cant love my children? What if I can only be happy back with my parents? Read more
Are intelligent people more prone to depression?
I think it’s true yes, and more prone to other mental illnesses too like anxiety, OCD, schizophrenia.
The human mind is hyper-malleable and the most intelligent mind, the most malleable of all. I often think of this issue as the difference between driving a Ferrari and a Mini. The Ferrari is more powerful, can go faster, but is also more dangerous, harder to handle, and perhaps is tuned so finely that it’s prone to break down :-) Read more
Why am I getting worse?
The conditions for healing are not the ones that caused the problem to show up. And because of habit, the conditions most commonly remain the same. And so, what caused the problem will deepen the problem over time because your body is already at breaking point… Read more
Fear of change
© wine me up
One of the BIG obstacles to successful change is FEAR.
It’s the fear of being forced into the unknown where there could be misery. Who knows what will happen if you take this path? It can be scary to even look…
We’d often much rather stick with the devil we know. We’d rather stick to our comfort zones where we know what to expect, where there won’t be any unpleasant surprises. We want to stay in control.
We have ideas about what healthy living means… punishing workouts, sweat, toil, denial… Read more
