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Am I Gay?
We get a lots of questions about this one who find us via our unwanted thoughts post, so I thought it would be a good idea to address this issue specifically.
What I’ve been finding with the questioners so far, is that for them at least, this is purely about paying attention to a silly thought, giving it meaning and so, making a big deal out of nothing. Here’s why this is so common… Read more
I’m scared of zombies and I can’t sleep
Katherine asks…
“It’s almost 12:30am and I can’t fall asleep. It’s a school night and I usually can’t sleep on school night for some reason, and on weekends I can fall asleep. I’ve tried your advice, many other different websites on how to get rid of scary thoughts and how to fall asleep fast. None have really worked. I am scared of zombies, etc. and I know they are not real, but they still freak me out a lot. I usually just close my eyes at night hoping to fall asleep, but I keep thinking there is some kind of demon looking at me. Please help! I’ve slept in my parents bed, but it’s even harder to sleep in there (and they don’t want me to sleep in there, they think I’m annoying lol). HELP!”
No such thing as zombies
You have to know with absolute clarity that you’re in no danger. When you think about zombies and get scared, then you are really seeing them as a threat to you and you will go in a “fight or flight” state, which is to save your life when there’s real danger. You MUST see these thoughts as silly/funny and that will help a lot in getting rid of them.
Click here to read more about seeing your fear in a different light
Exercise if scared
Once you’re in a state of fear, in that fight or flight state, your body is making adrenaline so that you can literally fight or run away. This makes you hyper-alert and makes your thinking illogical and reactive. So if you’re very scared and in a state like this, exercise is the best way to calm down, it’s the natural way to calm down, it’s what your body expects to happen… Read more
Someone is driving me crazy
Mimi asks…
“I have lived with a in-law family member for 5 years now and my thoughts of this person are driving me insane. I try extremely hard to keep my peace, not saying anything, and trying to make my thoughts leave so I dont say anything horrible and it is eating me alive. What do you suggest I do when those thoughts hound me? If your answer is meditation, what do I try to focus on?”
I suggest you don’t empower them with more attention. Simply observe what’s happening and be curious about it. This will instantly separate “you” from the thoughts and emotions and help you to let them go.
It’s tough, and there’s no easy solution, but there is a simple solution and that is meditation. The ONLY solution to any ego related problem is to go higher — become more conscious.
A very valuable thing to do in these kinds of situations is to spend some time thinking compassionate thoughts about the person who you perceive to be hurting you… Read more
How to have a happy, healthy relationship
Udhay asks…
“I’ve been in love with my girlfriend for 6 years. She’s honest and trustworthy, and I want to spend my life with her. But a few weeks ago, a colleague told me his girlfriend cheated on him. This story went strongly into my mind and I started to have some negative thoughts about my girlfriend.
Initially, I argued with my thoughts and that only caused them to increase in volume. I read your unwanted thoughts article and clearly understood that the thoughts have no power until I give them attention.
But now my girlfriend has become friends with a guy she’s working with, and shares stories about him. I trust her but keep getting the thought ‘I wonder what he looks like?’ I’ve even been getting negative thoughts about each and every guy on the street, and wondering if this is what her friend looks like. Can you help me?”
© Leonard John Matthews
It sounds like you have a great relationship with your girl. Have you talked about your intentions with her? Do you know hers?
Just because some people have affairs means nothing. It’s best not to focus on ideas you don’t want because you are moving into the vision created by your thinking.
Therefore you will cause what you fear. You’ll be constantly suspicious and that will infect everything with negativity which will ultimately breakdown the relationship…
I think you need to feel that you and your girl are on the same page… that you both want the same thing, so talk it through with her and let her know how you feel.
The cultural norms we have for relationships are because most value honesty, commitment, trust and so-on… Read more
Protein Powder Alternatives
Jeanie asks…
“I like the Habit Guide eating plan but I’m not a big fan of protein powder. What’s a good alternative for the fruit smoothie?”
You could have poached/boiled egg, cold cuts/leftover meat or kippers/smoked mackerel and so-on, in addition to the smoothie as quick protein choices.
Cottage cheese goes well, but always be suspicious of dairy, especially if you have any health issues…
Silken tofu is awesome in a smoothie but not for every day, as soy is controversial. Yogurt is also good and makes a delicious creamy smoothie. The protein content is not as high as other options though and the dairy issues apply… Read more
