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Someone is driving me crazy
Mimi asks…
“I have lived with a in-law family member for 5 years now and my thoughts of this person are driving me insane. I try extremely hard to keep my peace, not saying anything, and trying to make my thoughts leave so I dont say anything horrible and it is eating me alive. What do you suggest I do when those thoughts hound me? If your answer is meditation, what do I try to focus on?”
I suggest you don’t empower them with more attention. Simply observe what’s happening and be curious about it. This will instantly separate “you” from the thoughts and emotions and help you to let them go.
It’s tough, and there’s no easy solution, but there is a simple solution and that is meditation. The ONLY solution to any ego related problem is to go higher — become more conscious.
A very valuable thing to do in these kinds of situations is to spend some time thinking compassionate thoughts about the person who you perceive to be hurting you… Read more
How to have a happy, healthy relationship
Udhay asks…
“I’ve been in love with my girlfriend for 6 years. She’s honest and trustworthy, and I want to spend my life with her. But a few weeks ago, a colleague told me his girlfriend cheated on him. This story went strongly into my mind and I started to have some negative thoughts about my girlfriend.
Initially, I argued with my thoughts and that only caused them to increase in volume. I read your unwanted thoughts article and clearly understood that the thoughts have no power until I give them attention.
But now my girlfriend has become friends with a guy she’s working with, and shares stories about him. I trust her but keep getting the thought ‘I wonder what he looks like?’ I’ve even been getting negative thoughts about each and every guy on the street, and wondering if this is what her friend looks like. Can you help me?”
© Leonard John Matthews
It sounds like you have a great relationship with your girl. Have you talked about your intentions with her? Do you know hers?
Just because some people have affairs means nothing. It’s best not to focus on ideas you don’t want because you are moving into the vision created by your thinking.
Therefore you will cause what you fear. You’ll be constantly suspicious and that will infect everything with negativity which will ultimately breakdown the relationship…
I think you need to feel that you and your girl are on the same page… that you both want the same thing, so talk it through with her and let her know how you feel.
The cultural norms we have for relationships are because most value honesty, commitment, trust and so-on… Read more
Protein Powder Alternatives
Jeanie asks…
“I like the Habit Guide eating plan but I’m not a big fan of protein powder. What’s a good alternative for the fruit smoothie?”
You could have poached/boiled egg, cold cuts/leftover meat or kippers/smoked mackerel and so-on, in addition to the smoothie as quick protein choices.
Cottage cheese goes well, but always be suspicious of dairy, especially if you have any health issues…
Silken tofu is awesome in a smoothie but not for every day, as soy is controversial. Yogurt is also good and makes a delicious creamy smoothie. The protein content is not as high as other options though and the dairy issues apply… Read more
No Time for Myself
© bondidwhat
Why do you want “me time”? Perhaps it’s because you want some peace from the constant rushing around and fire-fighting chaos.
And you want to focus on stuff that makes you happy. Fair enough. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But here’s a suggestion for you… make all time “me time.” This is possible I promise you, and you don’t even have to change what you’re doing…
What you do is very very simple… you simply pay full attention to whatever it is you’re doing right now.
By practicing this and getting good at it, you’ll honestly find that you’re not hankering after time for yourself. That’s because living in the moment is the most fulfilling place to be… Read more
How to Stop Worrying About Family Members
Ruchir asks…
“My mother always has tension in her mind. Things which have happened in the past, or are happening, disturb her. She thinks too much about every household topic and worries about every minute topic related to family. She’s not able to to sleep at night. Does she have a serious problem or is it normal?”
© Oberazzi
I don’t believe she has a serious problem.
I think she just has deeply ingrained thought habits that cause her to worry about members of her family, at the expense of her own peace of mind…
A good first step is to ponder that everyone is responsible for their own lives, which will lead to a new acceptance and a new way of seeing things — at least intellectually. Then, she can make a clear and calm decision (pact) that will become a reference for changing her behavior.
In this case, a “worry hour” is a fantastic way to go. This way, she can still allow herself to worry about her family, but not habitually… Read more
