How to stick to your New Year’s resolutions

Do you want to finally be able to stick to your New Year’s resolutions?

Do you want to look good, feel good and have plenty of energy in 2012?

We know what we want. What’s seriously lacking is how to get it — how to lose weight, how to get ourselves to exercise, how to eat healthily and so on. We know we should but when it comes to that critical moment we cave…

Often, all our good intentions are crushed by the most minuscule set back. How easily we cave!

We go around and around in circles — attempting, failing, giving up, getting fed up and back to another attempt which is equally doomed to failure!

Of course, we know when our lifestyle is having bad consequences. And every New Year our attention is focused in on our own particular lifestyle issues. It’s time for a fresh start, to put the past behind us and look to the future. Mentally we just love the idea of a new year for making changes…

Unfortunately the statistics for successful New Year’s resolutions are abysmal. In fact, the statistics for successful change at any time of the year are abysmal.

But 2012 will be different… Why? Because you’re reading this! And we’re going to be looking at the reasons why successful change is rare — including the big one, the one hardly anyone else is talking about. It’s the one key factor that determines whether you’ll succeed or fail on your mission to change and be the person you deserve to be — failure to understand and overcome habits.

So, what exactly is it, that’s stopping you from taking action consistently and finally reaching your health target? It’s these 6 little obstacles… mental distinctions you may be lacking…

Lack of reality
Lack of clarity
Lack of desire
Lack of planning
Lack of commitment
Lack of habit power

Well that’s a whole lot of lack! Let’s look at each of these obstacles to your success. We’ll see what you can do about each one, so that you’ll finally be able to achieve the health and happiness you want.

1. Lack of reality

The first thing you need to know about your goal or resolution is that it’s not difficult to have. It can be very difficult to achieve which is the reason for the massive failure rate when it comes to change. But your desire is not difficult to have — and that means maintain.

The “No pain, no gain” mentality is a bit of a half-truth. I prefer to use a different maxim, “Train, don’t strain.” Change can sometimes be uncomfortable, it’s true, but maintaining is easy. In fact once you’ve installed new habits successfully, it’ll be easier to keep doing your healthy thing than not do it. Maintaining doesn’t involve “progression” and so it’s not painful but enjoyable. Even in the change phase, you’re in control of the rate of change all the way and so can also control your own comfort levels.

The point here is that a healthy life is easy to have, to keep. Think about it for a second. Think of all the healthy people you know. Are they constantly stopping themselves from doing bad things? Do they have enormous will power to overcome all the temptations? No! This stuff isn’t even on their radar! The fact is that good habits are as easy to keep as bad habits — once you have them.

The other thing I want to say about reality is just well “Get Real.” Now, I’m a guy and now matter how much I want it, I’m never going to look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. I can be a happy, fit, well toned and energetic version of me and that’s great and how it should be of course. But some folks have unrealistic expectations of themselves which is quite sad really because it really is true that beauty comes from within — we just need to learn how to let that beauty out, learn how to express it, how to express our own beautiful selves.

What I’m trying to say is that what we all consciously or unconsciously seek is happiness — and a lot of that desire for happiness is unconsciously channeled into “externals,” like physical beauty. The truth is that outer physical beauty won’t make you happy if your inner biochemistry is not right. Happiness has a great deal to do with chemicals and you influence that with diet, exercise and good habits.

In my experience, a healthier you will be a happier you and a happy you will be beautiful. I’m not saying we shouldn’t want to get the best from what we have, just that you don’t have to live up to an airbrushed ideal in a glossy magazine.

Look at it this way — some things we can change and some things we can’t — like our genes. No point stressing over the stuff we have no control over or even the mess we’ve got ourselves in. It’s better to focus on where we want to be and what we’re going to do by making positive changes.

2. Lack of clarity

Think about your intended changes for a second. Is the outcome crystal clear — can you see it? Can you see it in big bold glorious Technicolor? Does it almost feel real?

Or is it all a bit murky?

Identifying the outcome with great clarity is one of the most important steps to achieving your goal. Think about what it will be like when you achieve it. What is the evidence that you’ve won? What do you feel? What do you think? What do you see and hear?

This and the next step are about changing your inner self first. It’s about getting clear and then increasing the emotion attached to the crystal clear idea — which we’ll do in the next step.

Get as much clarity as you can without letting it become an obstacle itself. If you just can’t get clear on the final destination, then fine — just move in the direction you think is right. Things will get clearer and clearer as you move forward.

3. Lack of desire

Part of what separates the doers and successful people when it comes to change is the amount of desire! I was reading only today about how the latest celebrity is going on a diet and exercise program to get her body “back” after having a baby.

Of course, everyone is up in arms about it — about how articles like that are sending the wrong message and blah, blah, blah. Her reasons? She wants to feel good about herself and feel sexy! Now who doesn’t want that?!

Desire = motivation. The more you desire the outcome, the more you’ll be able to get yourself to do what it takes to bring it about. And the more you’ll be able to resist temptations — both inner and outer temptations when they come.

So how do you increase your desire? Simply — you think about the outcome more, dwelling on the benefits of what the change will bring into your life. Dwell on it as often as you can. Think about what having this change will mean to you on an emotional level.

In a nutshell, think about it, dwell on it, increase your desire — it will pay dividends in those critical moments we talked about.

Look at your list of goals and then look inside. How much desire do you have? Is it a burning flaming desire or just a paltry pilot light? If it’s a pilot light you’re going to need to fan the flames of your desire as much as you can.

You can be sure that the actress I mentioned will achieve her weight loss goal. Why? Because it means a lot to her… it’s MEGA important and she’ll do what it takes to get there. That’s massive. You’ve got to make it No.1 priority, or very close to No.1.

To build up more desire and so, more motivation, it’s good to dwell on what you want regularly — every day — make it part of your routine — a habit even! To want it badly you must really WANT it and to do that you spend more time dwelling on the benefits and what it will mean to you emotionally. It’s the every day part that is important. Putting your attention on the outcome you want on a regular basis.

The type of desire is also important — how if feels. This dwelling on the benefits and the emotions must be building a strong and calm resolve. If your desire just feels like frustration, you’re doing it wrong.

4. Lack of planning

Do you know exactly what you expect of yourself, from day to day, from moment to moment? Do you know the steps you need to take? A massive reason for failure to change is taking steps that are too big — or should I say, folks try to take one giant leap from here to there. It ain’t happening!

I admire the gung-ho enthusiasm and optimism but what happens when a teeny little temptation comes your way? The whole thing gets put back to next Monday, or tomorrow, or whenever. Once that happens you’re doomed. Remember these two precious words… NO VARIABLES!

Pick your step and follow through. In other words, once you’ve decided what you’re doing, decide that nothing can steer you from that course — “no variables.”

So, what steps will take you from here to there? Plan it out step by step. I tell you, time really does fly. The weeks go by very quickly and by seeing the big picture of your journey and taking it step by step, you’re actually taking the fastest route to your goal. Those weeks soon mount up.

Taking the common goal of weight loss as an example, it’s much better to aim for a one pound loss every week and achieve that week in week out, than set hard targets that aren’t hit.

We want wins!

By planning manageable steps, you build up your will power. What happens when you fail? Your confidence plummets and you give yourself the guilt and shame treatment! But by planning a small step and achieving that small step, you’ll have the opposite — increasing will power, belief and motivation.

So when it comes to planning your journey, think small steps — not too small that they have no measurable effect but small enough that you can be pretty sure of a WIN.

5. Lack of commitment

Unless you’re 100% committed going into a change, there’s always a chance you’ll fail. You’ll dither and debate. If you’re only 90% committed, there’ll be 10%… er, um, ohh, er… dithering. Really, this is about getting that inner feeling right. You can summon up that feeling of absolute confidence in the success of your next step and imagine that no matter what temptation comes your way, you’ll ride it.

In fact, go right ahead and imagine what could possibly trip you up and imagine what you’ll do. You’ll ride it out and you can be confident of this because you’ve chosen a step that’s just the right size for you to manage.

Imagine those inner temptations and cravings coming on strong and imagine you shrugging them off like they were nothing at all. It’s good to remember by the way, that cravings only last for a few minutes anyway.

And remember NO VARIABLES! After all, a resolution is not a maybe is it? Resolve is not even a definite maybe or a maybe definite. Resolution means a 100% sure-fire definite. That’s how you need to feel about your first step on “Day 1.”

Imagine you feel so powerful when a temptation hits you, that it feels like nothing at all. Install that in your brain. Install the stoical you that’s just determined to ride whatever fleeting urges come and go until they’re gone for good.

These inner temptations and cravings really are your enemy. Think of them as the enemy. They’re not you and that’s so important to understand. “You” want the change — the other stuff is just part of your physical and mental conditioning — deeply ingrained habits.

And remember the “reality” is that once you achieve your goal, it just gets easier and easier to maintain that lifestyle for good!

6. Lack of habit power

As I mentioned earlier, “habits” are the BIG one. If I had to pick just one reason why people fail to change successfully, then “habits” are IT!

Habits are learned behavior. All the skills we ever learned in our lives are essentially complex habits — walking, eating, driving… the list is endless.

What you can notice about everything you ever learned, is that once you learned it, it became automatic. Habits are essentially flows of energy along certain pathways. Do you still need to think about how to walk and talk?

Every learned action has a “trigger.” It’s an event or impulse that starts that particular thought or action. Noticing what triggers unwanted behavior is very valuable in the run-up to the day you take your chosen next step towards your final goal.

Just being aware of habit as a factor is very helpful. Start noticing your unwanted behavior — don’t just do it automatically any more. This is also a useful practice running up to your change day. In fact, in Zen Buddhism, this “just noticing” or being mindful is a core technique.

Failure to change is more often about “How NOT to.” Basically, the change we want is often about “giving something up” or stopping some behavior. And that “something” is usually our crutch and comfort in times of stress. Now that’s a double whammy. No wonder change is so hard.

That’s why I’ve gone into so much detail about understanding how habits operate and control our behavior as well as the crucial and life-changing information on “How NOT to” in Habit Guide.

But I’ll give you the BIGGIE right here and now. And this is MASSIVE…

To NOT do something, you have to…

Keep your mind off it!

Sounds so obvious now I said it, right? But it’s hard to do! You can’t get yourself to NOT think about something! It’s impossible… try it out and you’ll see! Don’t think of a pink elephant for 30 seconds.

Habits are tricky, tricky, tricky!

We need to make them conscious and yet at the same time keep them off our minds! Say WHAT!? This isn’t as crazy as it sounds. The behavior and thoughts must be noticed when they happen but apart from that, the ideal state is to not have any thought or feeling to do with your habit.

So, alas, space is limited here but all this great habit busting stuff as well as the solution to “the pink elephant problem” is in Habit Guide. It’s really a guaranteed system for your success, whatever your health goals. That’s because “The System” gets right to the root cause of the problem and that, as you now know, is your HABITS!

All of these six reasons why new year’s resolutions fail are automatically taken care of in Habit Guide without you having to do any work. All the hard work is done for you because Habit Guide show you precisely what you need to do and HOW to do it.

So, I hope you’ve found my article on New Year’s resolutions valuable and maybe found a few “nuggets” in there that will make this New Year different for you. It’s all about changing from the inside out, really. Unless you change your thoughts, perceptions, awareness and emotions around your behavior, then you won’t be able to change — not a chance.

What you need to do is get clearer about what you want, how it will be, what the steps are, what the challenges feel like and how you will deal with those challenges. You can be sure that the cravings, the demons will come, they always have but this time you’re expecting it and you have knowledge and a plan. You know cravings last only a few minutes and you’ll have chosen your steps carefully so that in each step, you’re assured of victory.

Now you can see your journey clearly and finally see yourself at the finish line. Once you’re at the finish line it just gets easier and easier — and remember, a healthy lifestyle is easy to maintain!

This New Year’s Resolutions article will go a long way to preparing you for the changes you’ll need to make. But it’s not the full picture or the “easy way” because you have to figure it all out yourself.

If you’re really serious about making this THE year you finally nail your plan of action and see it through, Habit Guide will give you the complete system and the complete approach you need to take without any thinking or headaches. And it’s guaranteed to get results.

All the best for the New Year and 2012!

Mike Kinnaird
Habit Guide: How to be Happy & Healthy

How to stick to your New Year’s resolutions

1. Lack of reality

2. Lack of clarity

3. Lack of desire

4. Lack of planning

5. Lack of commitment

6. Lack of habit power

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