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How to stop self destructive behavior — the first step
© Daryl Cauchi
Recently, I talked about why we self-destruct. It’s because we want to feel good.
When our lifestyles make us feel bad, we habitually turn to the quick fix. This fuels a never ending downward spiral of self destructive behavior that’s hard to stop…
One day you find life has gone pear-shaped, you’re not functioning, not coping. And you know… big steps don’t work because by the time you’re not coping, you NEED that fix to even function…
The first step is to find STABILITY
Not change everything in one big go… but find stability. A first step to get you back to coping at least a little bit better.
It’s a step to TAKE BACK CONTROL from the vicious cycle that you KNOW is going to only get worse and worse.
And the way you take that first step is to make a PACT.
All steps involve the pact-making process. It’s a decision, a conscious decision to choose the long-term happiness over the short term fix.
You decide to pay the price… to suffer A LITTLE BIT by not allowing every single urge to have your fix, in order to move into STABILITY.
That’s the first step. A step toward the final vision of your healthy life.
And then you consolidate your step, get comfy with your new control, new stability and then move forward by making another PACT.
These PACTS should ideally be written in BLOOD!!
These are serious decisions you make that you follow through on COME HELL OR HIGH WATER.
We want wins, we want self-trust and confidence in our ability to choose. We don’t want to be the victims of every little urge and whim that comes. That doesn’t feel good, it doesn’t feel right.
We want the power of “yes” or “no” and to do that we need to be clear about the rules. The rule is our PACT. Our choice… want we really want.
The first step is the hardest
And so the first step is the hardest because we’re not used to taking back control, living proactivity, denying our own urges.
But this we must do and when you do it… it gets easier and easier… the urges will drop away. Your mind will quickly learn that once you DECIDE, there is no point trying to get you to cave. The more resolute you are, the clearer you are, the more solid you are, the easier it will be.
Lack of commitment leads to DITHERING and dithering is your enemy.
It’s a process. Take a sure-fire resolute step, find stabilty then step again and again, giving your mind and body the time they need to adjust.
Then one day in the not too distant future you’ll find youself in a totally different place because of your own power and choosing. A place where life is easy, life is fun, and you have energy and clear thoughts.
To stop self destructive behavior, see the finish-line and make a pact, find stability and step into your happy future. Please read Habit Guide for the details.
All the best,
Mike Kinnaird
Habit Guide: How to be Happy & Healthy
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